67 Ways to Keep Men Interested: These Tips Will Blow Your Mind

First of all, call the false advertisement police, this post will not have 67 ways to keep men interested. I wish I knew one way to keep men interested or, hell, keep one good man interesting, but I’ve yet to figure out either. My friends, however, think I’ve got it down:

FriendyMcFrienderson(12:19:29 AM): how do you keep men interested

Audreyesque1 (12:19:37 AM): WHAT?

Audreyesque1 (12:19:41 AM): are you kidding?

Audreyesque1 (12:19:43 AM): you’re asking me this?

FriendyMcFrienderson (12:19:49 AM): no I’m not kidding

FriendyMcFrienderson (12:20:48 AM): nevermind, i’ll just look on cosmo.com

Ahh, Cosmo and the false hopes it gives women each month as they stand in the checkout line, deciding which new flavor of Orbit gum they should buy. Speaking of which, how many do they have now and how do I get that job… official gum-flavor-maker-upper for Orbit.

But I digress…

My friend’s IM arrived simultaneously with this pleasant bit of online chatter from my current ex friend-boy:

JustAnothaPEN15(11:08:21 PM): i’ve just begun to resent you for the rest of my life.


I’m not a member of the she-woman man-haters club so before I start sounding like I’m bashing this guy, I should preface by saying I’m confused. My whole quasi-relationship with… let’s call him S… has been half-Nicholas Sparks’ novel, half-Fatal Attraction. We don’t live anywhere near each other and we’ve only seen each other 3 times, but there’s a genuine affection that stems from the deep communion we share. Essentially, we’re both crazy and need psychiatric help so we bond over that, but you know, deep communion sounds a lot more romantic.

Anyway, S. has severe admiration for talented musicians who are true to their art, or some shit. His favorite artists include the Beatles, Crowded House, and some guy named—actually, I don’t even remember, but this guy is why S now resents me. See, S and I aren’t very good at debating, especially when it comes to music because, well, I usually just don’t care. I like what I like, whether it’s the Beatles or Fleetwood Mac or the latest Carrie Underwood song. There’s no pattern to my iPod—it is what it is.

Not S. He meticulously determines which songs have value and which don’t, and he tries to argue with me even though, news flash, HE’LL ALWAYS WIN because the only technical thing I understand about music is that it magically travels from my iPod to my ears and makes me dance awkwardly when I’ve consumed too much whisky. So S made me listen to this guy and I found him pretty boring. When I told S this, he got defensive and wanted to have a debate about why this guy is capable of curing cancer with his guitar. To which I replied, “I don’t want to talk about this, because I know we’ll end up fighting and it really doesn’t matter.”

Mature enough, right?

S’s response: you can’t debate like an adult because you’re insecure and fucked up.

Say what?!

If this were a 1999 teen flick, Usher’s record would have just come to a screeching halt as the room full of wannabe prom queens and kings fell eerily silent so that they could stare at me covered in pig’s blood (oops, combining decades there).

For two hours, we argued. Ad-hominem attacks were slung, ignored phone calls took place, and an eventual ceasefire that ended in silence from both parties was called. Now, I don’t know where S and I stand, which is nothing new when it comes to us. Except this time, I’m not crying. This time, I’m a lot calmer. This time, I’m not so worried about the future.

Because, when it comes down to it, I’m not sure if there’s a particular pattern you can follow to keep anyone interested. If they’re interested, they’ll stay that way without any help.

Time to go read He’s Just Not That Into You. For the 108th time… this year.


Already Breaking One of My Rules

When it comes to blogging, I prefer posts with original thoughts instead of one that just passes information along. Unfortunately, my Florida friends are used to me showing them interesting videos or funny articles, so this blog will probably have a lot of posts where I simply prolong the life of a video that’s gone viral. Ah, c’est la vie.

I’ve been doing freelance for this amazing company for the past two weeks, and I’m basically getting paid to browse the Internet 24/7. Well, with this territory comes tons of opportunities to get sidetracked, and I stumbled on two of them this morning.

Below are two clips from last summer’s show Britain’s Got Talent, which I never watched because I’d never heard of it. This is disappointing because it features one of my fave people, Mr. Simon Cowell, as a judge.

Both of the videos feature performers under the age of 12 who are completely mind-blowing. Neither won the competition, which is a shame. Take a look for yourself– you’ll be entertained. (And I’m not just saying that because one of them performs my favorite scene from My Fair Lady…)

Now, aren’t you glad I broke a rule?

Only a Nerd Would Get Excited About a Bookcase

I’m a nerd. I accept it and am one with it. Ergo, one of the things that I’m most excited about in my future apartment is my bookcase.

Reading is a passion of mine and over the years I’ve read an absurdly high number of books. Unfortunately, I can never remember what I’ve read because there have been so many. This is why I’m stoked about the bookcase.

I can’t wait to have a mini-library of what I’ve read and what I plan on reading. I figure all that time spent commuting from Alexandria to D.C. will provide ample reading time– something I didn’t have while in college because I was too busy procrastinating to truly enjoy those invigorating textbooks.

A lot of my friends are avid readers, too, so I thought it would be fun to keep a running list of books I’ve read or plan to read. I’ll pepper in some reviews so if I stumble across anything exceptional or downright awful, you’ll know what to add to your own reading lists.

So what’s the next book this nerd will add to her bookcase? Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre.

Photo credit: Freshome.com

Learning to Prioritize Post-College

Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom and grandmother to stock up on items for my new apartment. They were picking up useful items like Tupperware, towels, and sheets. I picked up a 6-pack of beer. You can see where our priorities lie. Unfortunately, I just checked my bank account and created a proposed monthly budget, which means a major priority adjustment.

For one thing, I’m going to have to start checking my bank account more frequently. I hate doing this because it usually results in increased blood pressure and bad moods that can last for up to 3 hours. I also have this disorder where when I walk into Target or Dillards, I think I have more money that I actually do.

So, in this post-college life, I’m forced to categorize things based on their importance, which really means how much will my life suck if I can’t afford it…

I leave for D.C. this Friday, and I find myself wanting frivolous items that will spruce up my apartment. It’s the first time I’ll have my own place, and is it such a crime that I want it to be cute? Oh, well, here’s to cute on a budget! Audrey would be proud…

I’ll get rid of a lot of things, but not the beer. Beer remains a priority in this Irish girl’s life.

photo credit: iversaredamp

The One Where I Tell You About This Blog

Hi. Nice to meet you. Or, see you again. Whatever the case may be.

Welcome to my blog, Audrey in DC. No, my name is not Audrey. I am a huge Audrey Hepburn fan, though. Just look at my DVD shelf if you don’t believe me. More about this later.

At least the DC part is honest. I recently graduated college and am on the brink of moving to Washington, D.C., where I will embrace big city life without a car. Or any money. Or a real job.

I’m leaving behind a great group of friends who appreciate my obsession with blogging and writing, so I figured this will be a super trendy way of staying in touch with them. E-mail is the new snail mail, after all.

I’ll start off with what this blog is:

  • a place for me to keep in touch with my friends
  • my thoughts about life post-college
  • somewhere I can vent about my lack of money
  • a place where you can follow my latest ramblings and rantings
  • another thing you can procrastinate with during the day
  • entertaining and fun (hopefully)

Now, what this blog isn’t:

  • an academic resource
  • all about Audrey Hepburn
  • family friendly

So, if you’re still interested, stick around a while. Come back often. And, don’t forget to comment so I can trick myself into feeling popular!


photo credit: home.uchicago.edu/

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